Unfortunately, marriage is where appreciation often goes to
die. As part of our G Thanks Challenge, I want to challenge you to work at appreciating
your spouse in November and see what God does in your marriage. (This
is a challenge I gave Fellowship in my sermon last week. It has drawn some comments and attention…I
thought it might be worth sharing beyond that moment.)
You must remember though that men and women who live in the
same latitude physically are not necessarily living in the same latitude
emotionally. (Check out my earlier blog on gratitude and latitude if that
statement is confusing.)
So here is the challenge.
Express gratitude in you spouse’s latitude. (Minimally twice per week during the next
month.)
Ladies, men are pretty simple creatures. Gratitude has more to do with longitude than
latitude. It’s pretty simple. Physical
affection and attention is appreciation.
For men that basically means sex although we all know that is not the
sum total of physical affection. There's more to this reality than I will say now. I will come back to it in just a moment.
Men, women are not simple creatures. But appreciation is simple. It is a big concept in little actions. SAY it
and SHOW it. Speak up. Be specific about what you appreciate and
why. Take her for a night out…and plan
everything…even the babysitter. Small
moments with your spouse. A dessert date
after the kids are in bed. A thank you
note on the washing machine with a gift card in it. SAY it
and SHOW it.
Also, appreciation is
initiation. If your wife has to
remind you to say and show appreciation…it does not count. If you speak appreciation because she told
you she got that big (or little) task around the house done instead of you
noticing on your own…it does not count.
Your husband begging for physical attention does not count either,
ladies. It usually is the initiation of
affection that means the most to your husband.
That is what causes him to feel respect, honor, value, and appreciation. Husbands, it is you taking the time and giving the attention to acknowledge her that makes her feel appreciation. Take a hint from Proverbs 31 and stand at the city gate and speak her praise. When you appreciate her and others know it...she knows it. Initiation
goes along way in appreciation.
So that is the G Thanks Spouse Challenge…take it and see
what God will do in your marriage this month!
