Déjà vu

Well it was not exactly déjà vu but I had an experience last night that reminded me clearly of another time in my life and ministry. Last night I had the great privilege of setting forth a bold vision before the people of Fellowship Church to reach our city for Christ.

Last night I was awake in the middle of the night. The doubts that tend to eat at us anytime we stand up for the cause of Christ began to hit my mind. The biggest fear is to speak what the Lord has given you and for it to not work. It is difficult to be a person that casts God’s vision because all you can tell others is what God shows you – you can’t make it happen.

As I lay awake God reminded me of the words he told me to teach our people last night. Lift high My Name and I will bring people to myself. I honestly rolled over and slept in peace. I slept in peace until a racket awakened me.

My family has the flu. My sweet Kare Bear was upstairs hacking and having a hard time breathing. She was completely unable to sleep because of the congestion. I tried to get her to sleep for a while, but I could not.

Eventually I ended up rocking her in our rocking chair holding her where she could breathe. As I laid there with her in my arms I was reminded of the night before our first worship service at Fellowship Church. I stayed up all that night holding Daniel so he could breathe while sick with RSV. I thought the 2 nights to be strangely connected.

One reason is that the vision God has now given is as new and exciting and challenging as it was that night on January 5, 2002. The déjà vu had not quite happened yet, though. It came next as I realized that I sat their just as excited about what God had called me to do as I was the night before we started. I sat there with the same expectation of God doing unbelievable things. I sat there with a complete faith that God who begins good works finishes them too.

Honestly, I sat their and thanked the Lord that I have a great privilege and calling in my life. I thanked him that he always has been faithful. I also thanked him that I have no idea what he will do next. In 2002 I honestly had no idea what it would mean to start a church – I thought I did – but I did not.

On March 6, 2009 I sat their knowing that I have no idea how to reach a city for Christ either – but God does. All I have is the vision and the direction God gave to get there and the knowledge that He is all I need.

Vision is often scary because it leads to change and challenge. There is no person greater changed or challenged by it than the man God gives it to. So I sat there and thanked God for something else. I thanked him for not changing the passion and vision but for changing the man he had given it to. I sat there in déjà vu yet it was totally different. The difference was not in who God is, what the vision is, or the cost it will take to get there. The change is what God has done in me.

Thank you Lord for finishing what you start. O Sovereign Lord, YOU ARE GOD!