The G Thanks Spouse Challenge

Unfortunately, marriage is where appreciation often goes to die.   As part of our G Thanks Challenge, I want to challenge you to work at appreciating your spouse in November and see what God does in your marriage.  (This is a challenge I gave Fellowship in my sermon last week.  It has drawn some comments and attention…I thought it might be worth sharing beyond that moment.)

You must remember though that men and women who live in the same latitude physically are not necessarily living in the same latitude emotionally. (Check out my earlier blog on gratitude and latitude if that statement is confusing.)

So here is the challenge.  Express gratitude in you spouse’s latitude.  (Minimally twice per week during the next month.)

Ladies, men are pretty simple creatures.  Gratitude has more to do with longitude than latitude.  It’s pretty simple. Physical affection and attention is appreciation.  For men that basically means sex although we all know that is not the sum total of physical affection.  There's more to this reality than I will say now.  I will come back to it in just a moment.

Men, women are not simple creatures.  But appreciation is simple.  It is a big concept in little actions.  SAY it and SHOW it.  Speak up.  Be specific about what you appreciate and why.  Take her for a night out…and plan everything…even the babysitter.  Small moments with your spouse.  A dessert date after the kids are in bed.  A thank you note on the washing machine with a gift card in it.  SAY it and SHOW it.

Also, appreciation is initiation.  If your wife has to remind you to say and show appreciation…it does not count.  If you speak appreciation because she told you she got that big (or little) task around the house done instead of you noticing on your own…it does not count.  Your husband begging for physical attention does not count either, ladies.  It usually is the initiation of affection that means the most to your husband.  That is what causes him to feel respect, honor, value, and appreciation.  Husbands, it is you taking the time and giving the attention to acknowledge her that makes her feel appreciation.  Take a hint from Proverbs 31 and stand at the city gate and speak her praise.  When you appreciate her and others know it...she knows it.  Initiation goes along way in appreciation.

So that is the G Thanks Spouse Challenge…take it and see what God will do in your marriage this month!

The Latitude of Gratitude

To express gratitude you must put yourself in someone else’s latitude.

On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee.  And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, GIVING him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?  Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”   Luke 17:11-19  (emphasis added)

10 were healed.  1 was thankful. 

Thanksgiving is thanks given.

The expression of gratitude requires us to change what we are doing and what we are saying.  Thanksgiving is a word of action yet it is not a verb.  It is a noun that describes a verb.  It is a word that describes not a thing but an action.  There is no thanksgiving until that thanks is given.   Thanksgiving is a comment before it is sentiment.

To properly show gratitude we have to change latitude.  We have to put ourselves in the place of the person we appreciate.  This means physical latitude, spiritual latitude, and emotional latitude.  Think like they think.  Express your appreciation in their style of communication…their love language as Dr. Chapman has named it.  Gratitude is best given in the language of the one receiving instead of the one giving.

So change your latitude and show your gratitude.

G Thanks Days 2 and 3

Got a little busy.  One thing I find is that being grateful toward others on days you are really busy and do not go out into the world at large as much are more difficult.  But here were my attempts the last couple of days.

The election workers...I did not bring them anything as I thought that might would be inappropriate and maybe not even allowed for them to take a "gift," but I tried to express my gratitude for them providing a great service.

The pizza guy.  He makes the best pizza and is a great guy to visit with.  So glad this New Yorker brought New York style pizza to south Louisiana.  Love me some Omar at Roma's Pizza.

Got to get busy on the thanks in the home front.  Some times its the small things.  Wendy "fixed" a ready made chicken from the super market yesterday.  Gave herself a negative comment on that in jest. I simply said, "Thanks for supper. It doesn't matter who cooked it, you made sure we had it to eat."  Something like that.  Try to appreciate the little things.  A yummy supper served hot did not fix it self.  I followed the meal up by cleaning the kitchen which is a normal nightly activity for me, but I hope it says thanks for supper every time I do it.

G Thanks day 1

The power washer guy at my car wash. The detailers get thanks. But I like my car wash because before I roll through and they power spray the hard to clean spots. But hard to tip someone while rolling into a car wash and with a power sprayer going. So today i found a way tip him with a "G Thanks" card without getting the interior of my card drenched.

The G Thanks Challenge

“Gee, Thanks”  This sentiment is often the sum total of the expression of gratitude people experience in our current culture.  Gratitude is a discipline.  Thankfulness is a practice.  The problem is that it is more and more a lost art.

Thanksgiving is thanks given.

Facebook culture is spreading a status update concept for expressing things you are thankful for.  This is a good thing because stopping to think about why you are thankful makes you more thankful.

I want to challenge you to go beyond status updates though.  The challenge is to give thanks in personal ways this season.  Everyday do something that requires you to go out of your way to give thanks.

Express thankfulness in words spoken instead of typed.  Express it personally and not just technologically.  Express thanks in doing not just in saying.

There is so much to be thankful for, so many people to be thankful for, and so many blessings to be thankful for.

So if you take this challenge…starting today and everyday until Thanksgiving…do something to give thanks. 

BTW…Sunday we start a series called “G Thanks.”  We will be learning about what the Bible has to say about Giving, Growing in, and getting thanks in life.  See you Sunday at 8:30, 9:45, or 11:00.