Chicken or the Egg?

The old adage, "What comes first…the chicken or the egg?" is a real issue within most real issues.

What comes first in a desired goal or objective?

I have just wrapped up a sermon series titled "iamchurch." This series has focused on the reality of church life and our role in it by looking at the first 6 chapters of Acts. During this series we have discussed the real issue about how churches become what God desires them to become. The church becomes what God desires it to become when the individuals in it become what God desires them to become.

This past year I have really challenged Fellowship with this thought. You should never expect your church to be what you are not.

I believe we must come to the point individually where we do not ask of our church corporately what we are not willing to ask of ourselves indivudally. Why? Because the church will never be what we are not. The church is made up of its members. The Church corporately is simply the sum of the individuals in it.

So, with this challenge, I wrapped up the series with this truth from Acts. I gave this definition for church. The church is a radical community of radical people with one radical cause.

The reality, though, is that the majority of us as Christians and, therefore, our churches have instead become comfortable communities of comfortable people with comfortable causes.

So, this truth challenges me to ask, how do we move from comfortable to radical. This question is more difficult than it would seem. The answer would seem to be "do radical stuff."

The tough part about being the church though is not that we do radical things but that we become radical people who have experienced radical change.

So, what comes first…the chicken or the egg? What comes first doing radical things or being a radical person?

How do we experience this change individually? How do we seek after it corporately?

I came to these conclusions as I read through the amazing narrative of the beginning of the Church that is the Book of Acts…

Doing radical things does not make a person nor a church radical for Christ.
    New and radical sounds in music will not make your church radical for Christ.
    New and radical creative ways to teach will not make your church radical for Christ.

Being radical people for Christ will, however, cause your church to radical things for Christ.
    New and radical people will be open to experiencing new and radical things in Christ.
    New and radical people will be radical about sharing the Gospel with those around them.
    New and radical people will make up a new and radical church that does new and radical things.

But don't get the cart before the horse. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. (I am trying my hand at cliché using in honor of Pastor Joey.)

Just because you do cool stuff at your church every Sunday does not mean you will ever become a radical community of radical people with one radical cause.

We, as church leaders and as church members, must make it our goal to build one another up into radical people.

We do this by sharing in a unified cause for the Gospel...by encouraging and praying for and with one another…by holding up the Word of God and holding each other to its truths…by pushing each other to be witnesses of the Good news of Jesus Christ to the world around us.

A church that is doing these things will be made up of people doing these things. And these individuals will bring all kinds of new approaches and radical ideas together for the cause of Christ.

I hope this truth sinks in with those who think simply changing the way we "do" church will change the church?
I also hope it challenges those who think that changed people will never change the way we "do" church?

Both must happen for us stay radical for this radical cause.

Holidays in the Ministry

I decided to write this blog as the result of a Facebook status update by a couple of friends of mine that are in church leadership at a church in Houston. They felt "like and island in a big city" on Easter because they were separated from family to do the work God had called them to do. I started to write a really long Facebook message but instead decided to blog on what I have learned about holidays in ministry through my 15 plus years working in ministry. I started young and have seen how holidays affect your ministry life at different stages.

So I will start with a basic synopsis of the issue. We, who are in ministry, can never be gone from church on Holy Days since they are, after all, important days in the life of our ministry. Easter and Christmas being the biggest of such days. Ministry also causes you to never have a 3 day weekend. Labor Day, Memorial Day, and Good Friday are not 3 day weekends for the paid staff at a church. They are just normal weekends – or busier weekends. If any holiday happens to fall around a Sunday, well there goes that time off – say like 4^th of July, etc. Few church members ever realize the weight that has on paid church staff especially if they are not close enough to travel easily to be with their extended family. Those times that most people get to grab some extra time with the fam, your church staff is often missing family and even hurting inside a little to do it.

So this blog is how we have learned to deal with that and also, maybe a word to church members to be mindful of your staff during such times. They might love having Easter dinner with your family. So here are my suggestions.

1. 
   Travel when you can and consider it your holiday. We often spend time for a holiday with family not on the holiday. The key to this being meaningful is to count it as your holiday. Make some new traditions around it and enjoy it. My family has learned to have Christmas in different ways and times with us because we are never there for Christmas Eve, morning, or dinner. We just do it a little different. The key is realizing you did that holiday with your family even if on the actual holiday you were not with your family.
   
   The side note to this one, is minister's don't count the cost after you paid it, count it before you pay it. When we count up how much this costs us in life after we pay it, it robs us of the joy in our ministry. If you get to spend Christmas Eve with your family but not Christmas Day because of church, don't look back and remember what you did not get to do, remember what you did get to do. We can fall in the trap of "oh look at the sacrifice I made" if we are not careful. I am not saying this as a reprimand to anyone, just a word to the wise because it will cause you to lose much joy in your ministry if you do not. Remember what you DID get to do not what you did NOT get to do.
   
   
2. Honesty is the best policy. Tell your family honestly about how much you wish you could see them but why you cannot. My parents are some of the most committed church members any church has ever had, but they have missed the last two Easters to be with us. Why now and never before? Last year I told them, "I will never come see you for Good Friday or Easter, but you have an open invitation to be here every year. I know some years my sisters will be there and you can't come, but when they are not, please do." They decided being with us on Easter was more important than being at their church and so they have come. We had not done Easter with them in 9 years before that. God changed that for us with some honesty.
   
   
3. Consider crazy travel. Travel on days most people don't travel. We travel every Christmas Day a good portion of the day. We do Christmas Eve service and then do Christmas morning and then get in the car. We might miss what most consider family Christmas but we see our family at Christmas. It might not be what the world would call an ideal way to do Christmas but we have learned to love it. We have done this on years where we literally spent one night and then came back because Sunday was 2 days after Christmas. One year Christmas was Sunday. We went up beforehand to see one family that year and went to see the other as soon as church ended. Holidays exhaust me between travel and church, but they are worth the craziness.
   
   
4. Do holidays with church members. We have enjoyed this at times too. It might not be family but it is church family. Now, one word to the wise on this one. Don't advertise it if you want to be selective about it. If you want to spend time with some folks for a holiday and the people that ask are not the folks you were thinking of be grateful for that and know that God has something special in store for you on that one.
   
   
5. Go big even when you are going small.
   This weekend I preached Good Friday, did Easter Egg Hunts Saturday, and preached twice on Sunday after a very long week getting some work done around our church building with the great people of Fellowship. But I still cooked us some breakfast for Easter morning, did baskets with my kids, and cooked a big Easter dinner. (Wendy was heading out to see her mom at MD Anderson so that was all on me this time.) Sure I had to get up around 4:30 on Easter morning, but having the big meal makes it feel more like a holiday. Now granted this year we had my family with us, but we have done the same thing when it is just us. It makes it fun for the immediate family to be alone when you still go big.
   
   
6. Lead out in the group that needs the family away from family. The first time we ever did any type of holiday with folks from the church we did supper at our house. I did the cooking and led out on that event, but it was worth it.
   
   
7. Learn to be a loner. Now this one is perhaps just a personal thing and not something everyone can do. We would love to see our family for every holiday. But we have learned to love the "just us" holidays too. We go big. We have fun. We make it special. And we don't allow ourselves to sit around thinking about what the rest of the family is doing. We talk to them and tell them we love them, but we just get busy having fun with each other enough to not miss what we are missing.
   
   
8. Come to grips with what you cannot change. Here is what I cannot change, but if I could I would because it hurts badly when I think about it. I have not spent a Christmas with my extended family (meaning my cousins and such) in over a decade. They usually gather on Christmas Eve and/or the Sunday before Christmas. I would love to see them but I can't. Part of the family often gets together for Easters too. I never get to do this. I miss seeing them. Holidays are one of the rare times many of us see this part of our family. I simply do not see my extended family very often. I miss them. I love them. I would love to see them, but it does not happen much. Now, this past year I suggested a summer get together around the 4^th of July and most of them did it. Maybe we can start a new tradition. I don't know. But this is something I wish I could change. But I can't. I will probably never have another Christmas with the Young Clan, but that does not make many any less a member of it. I guess what helps is knowing that my family is proud of who I am and what I do. Truth is our families make a sacrifice too when we make that sacrifice. Having a family of believers helps. I know they would love to see me but there is never guilt given for doing God's work. (So family of ministers, never, ever, ever do this to them. Let them know you miss them not to make them feel guilty but to make them feel loved.)
   

The most important principle is to remember why you were not there. My mom taught me this on the first Mother's Day I did not go home to see her. I was 20 and was preaching somewhere for Mother's Day. She told me that there was no greater way I could honor her as a mother on Mother's Day than to proclaim the Gospel. It changed the way I view not seeing my family on holidays.

This Easter, I had the privilege of preaching the Gospel to almost 550 people, baptizing 4 people, and seeing 10 more confess Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. Even if I had seen no family this Easter, I would choose to focus on what God did instead of what I did not do. The old mind over matter sometimes helps. The way you view it depends on the way you view it.

I hope this is helpful to people growing up in and doing ministry. (And then again, if the hearts still hurts. Take the next Sunday off and get out of dodge and go see your family. I do it every Christmas.)

 

Little World

My son has inherited from me a trait that makes going to school difficult. It is often called Attention Deficit Disorder. I grew up calling it daydreaming…and knowing it was a punishable offense if done at the wrong time and in the wrong place. Well, Daniel's teacher told me during our parent-teacher conference that Daniel lives in his own little world.

The next evening I had some one on one time with Daniel and I asked him about his own little world. He then went on to tell me a little about his own little world. Then he said a few words that made me respect him more than I ever have.

He told me, "Dad sometimes it is sad in my own little world."
I asked, "Why." Meaning, why do you allow your little world to be sad, you control it.
Daniel replied, "Well sometimes I think about sad things. Like if something were to happen to Melanie or Kara. And in my own little world I tell God 'Take me instead of them'….because I love them so much."

He floored me. I had no idea how to respond to such an incredible and profound statement by my eight year old hero. So I tried hard not to cry in the restaurant we were having supper in and just told him I thought he was the greatest big brother anybody could ever have.

Well, that thought has been on my mind a great deal this week as we head into Good Friday and Easter. These verses have run through my head all week.

But God demonstrated his love for us in this…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13.

Many people in our world completely reject the concept of such unconditional and underserved love. They refuse to believe in it. They refuse to trust and they refuse to allow it into their lives. I, for one, completely believe it and I fully trust it. I don't doubt for one second that my eight year old son would lay his life down for his two little sisters. Not for one second do I think he would think twice about sacrificing himself for them. He is just that kind of kid.

Why do people refuse to believe that God is that kind of God? Why do so many fail to accept the truth that God is love? I think they are unwilling to see that truth and accept it because they cannot work out for themselves the difficulties of life lived in this fallen world.

But here is the thing…that is the whole point. God showed us…he demonstrated to us…he put into practice his love for us in the midst of our fallenness. In the midst of the worst of your life, Jesus gave you the best of his.

That is why we celebrate the awful events of this Friday as Good. They were not good for Jesus they were good for me. He did good for me because he loves me. They are good for me because they give me life.

So as you look around your own little world this week, I dare you to stop and see it from God's point of you…and see how much he really loves you.

Problem or People

Sometimes in life the problem is people and sometimes the problem is simply the problem. The problem with us is that too often we take out the problem out on the people. I am learning a life lesson today. Here is a nugget I am learning that I hope will help you along your journey.

When we don't want to deal with a problem we fail to deal correctly with people.

Often in life a problem is brought to us and we simply don't want to deal with it. We might even feel that legitimately we don't have time to deal with it. One of my life issues is that I rarely can say I don't have time to deal with it. When you are a leader you have to deal with problems on life's calendar not yours. When you are frustrated with a problem you must always remember that no matter how little you think the problem really matters the person matters greatly.

This evening I will ask someone for grace because in dealing with a problem I failed to deal with the person. I even got to the bottom of the problem and provided what was a workable solution. And I thought all was good because I did good, but truthfully I failed completely. The call of my life, as a Christ-follower and as a pastor, is not simply to get the job done and the problem solved. My calling is to show people who Jesus is and Jesus is not the changer of problems. He is the changer of people.

So next time the problem walks in your door stop and remember that a problem did not just walk in…a person did.

 

(I ask that you might pray for the conversation I need to have tonight. I believe the person I am talking with might need to see the authenticity of Jesus and maybe…just maybe…my sovereign Lord can use my problems and shortcomings to show himself as real. You just never know.)

Where Giving Ends or Begins

Are you a giver? Let me share two thoughts that review the last two weeks of our The Giver series – then I will jump into the challenge from this week.

Giving begins with stewardship.
    Meaning you must make the decision to be generous before the opportunity exists. You must live in a way that allows you to give.
Giving requires us to give our stuff.
    Generosity requires sacrifice. You have to give up some stuff. I am not just talk about tithing. I am talking about day in and day out. I will challenge with this idea about tithing though. Your church will never be more generous than its members…it will never give more than you do. The generosity of the church is often lost in the disobedience of its members. Are you obeying?

This week I talked about the issue that makes giving truly difficult. I call it the crux of giving. It is the breaking or making point. This is the issue that will either begin your life of generosity or it will end it. The passage is Luke 14:25-35. You might want to read it real quick to get some context. Click on the Scripture for a link to it.

Giving costs us…us. Giving costs you…you. Giving costs me…me.

That is the crux of giving. This passage is not heresy it is hyperbole. We are not literally to hate our wives and kids, yet we are to love God so completely and passionately that it seems as if we hate those that we love in comparison. I do find it interesting that in this passage Jesus says that the things we say define being a Christ follower never define what it means to be a Christ follower. Being a good husband is not Christ following. People who do not believe in Jesus at all do it every day. The pinnacle of your Christ following is not at your house…that is where it begins.

So the world tells us to live every day to fullest but in this passage we are told to hate our own life. The Bible says Die every day to the fullest.

Die to the fullest. Die as much as you can. Carry as big a cross as you can. Don't decorate your life with the cross, dedicate your life to the cross.

So the passage tells us we need to count up the cost and follow. We must understand what we must do as Christ followers and do them and that if we don't we mess up manure.

So if you don't want to mess up manure with your life, understand what Christ-following does look like.

Take the responsibility of carrying your cross and following Jesus.
Have the priority of Christ. The priority of our life.
Give the totality of yourself.
Experience the vitality of sacrifice.
    There is no life where there is no sacrifice. I challenge you to consider the times in life you have been the most generous..have you ever felt more alive?

So are you the giver? Or are you the givee?

It begins and ends with you. You have to give all of yourself to give any of yourself. So if you are not the giver, the real problem is not stuff or service…it is self.